


Sometimes You Need a Push

by EventHorizon



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, disguises, mystrade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 07:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1015815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EventHorizon/pseuds/EventHorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is tired of waiting for Sherlock to admit to what he feels, so the good doctor enlists a little help to push things along a bit...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes You Need a Push

      “I absolutely forbid it.”

      “That’s funny.  I never knew you had a sense of humor, lad.  You should work on the inflection, though… give it more punch on the ‘forbid’ part.”

      “The day will come, Lestrade, when it is realized that your abilities are in no way up to the standards of your wages and you shall be placed in a more appropriate posting, such as cleaning the cages of the canine members of your brethren.”

      “I could cry I’m so proud of you.  Making your little jokes like all the other kids.  Hold on, let me get my camera.  I need a picture of this moment.”

      “John is _not_ going with you and that is my final word on the subject.”

      “Last time I checked, John’s brain still worked and he was still able to make his own decisions, though how long that’s going to be the case living here with you is something I really don’t like to think about.”

      “Greg!  You’re here already?  I’m not quite finished packing.”

Sherlock glared at the small case John set on the sofa with the very conscious intent of setting it on fire with the force of his extremely annoyed will.

      “Take your time, John; train doesn’t leave for awhile.  And Sherlock and I are having a great time.  He’s practicing his comedy act and I’m being the theater critic.”

      “Oh, lovely.  Glad to see you two having fun.  There’s still that get-together tomorrow night, right?  What are you wearing?  I’d hate to look the fool in front of your colleagues.”

      “It’s casual; whatever you wear will be fine.  The lads will be too interested in what you have to say to worry about what’s on your back.”

Trying to set Lestrade on fire with the force of his extremely annoyed will was failing as spectacularly as it had with John’s luggage, but Sherlock was quite sure there were matches close by and he had access to a wealth of flammable solvents.

      “Good, then I’ll pack the new shirt I just picked up.  Sherlock even said it wasn’t hideous, so I must look like a million pounds in it.”

      “Then I’m glad I pushed that black pullover into my bag at the last second.  Hate to embarrass you with my tatty old gear.  Hey, how about I run downstairs and get us a coffee?  Sherlock, you want anything?”

Lestrade’s death.

      “If I did, I would strongly suspect you would not be able to provide it.”

      “What a cute little thing you are.  Be back in a minute.”

John just shook his head and walked back to his bedroom to pack his toiletries, not surprised in the least that a large blackbird swooped into the room after him.

      “You will not accompany Lestrade, John.”

      “It’s three days at a conference in Scotland, not two weeks in Provence.  And he wanted _you_ to go with him first!  Talk about how consultants can work with the locals to get things done faster… that should have been something you’d sink you’d teeth into.  Got funds to cover your costs and everything.”

      “It is a ridiculous use of my time.”

      “Well, your loss is my gain.  I think it’ll be interesting and since it’s a free holiday I was not about to say no when he asked me to come along.  _After_ you told him to get stuffed.”

      “You cannot go.”

      “Let’s see… my legs work, so I think I can pretty easily get myself to the train.  Sherlock, why are you so opposed to me getting away for a few days?”

      “With Lestrade.”   

      “Yes… and?”

      “He is divorced.”

      “So’s half of London.  What does that have to do with anything!”

      “He has also been an abysmal failure in securing a replacement for his wife.”

      “Ok, I have to admit he’s had a bit of a dry spell lately, but that’s more to do with him not feeling ready to put himself on the market than not getting offers.  Believe me, a man like Greg gets lots of offers when he’s out for an evening.  Males and females flock to him like bees to a flower.  A cranky and boozy flower, but you get the picture.”

Oh, that was an unpleasant look in Sherlock’s eye and John had to laugh at how the detective could bring full intensity to even the smallest issue if it piqued his interest.

      “You find him attractive.”

      “I didn’t say that; I said he won’t have any problem getting his love life back once he decides he’s ready.”

      “You are not going.”

      “Because Greg’s not an ugly man?”

      “Precisely.”

      “Yeah, you’re insane.  Wasn’t sure before, but I am now.  I’ll get you a comfortable room set up in a cozy asylum in the country.  It’ll be nice and quiet, with lots of birds and things to talk to.”

      “Your ability to fail at humor is staggering.”

      “Greg thinks I’m funny and since he’s the one I’m spending the next three days with, I’ll pretend your ignorant opinion doesn’t even exist.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have toothpaste to pack.”

The whoosh of the blackbird’s wings ruffled John’s hair and made the corners of his lips curl into a very satisfied smirk.  This was going to be fun.

__________

      “I still can’t believe you got NSY to fund this, Greg.”

      “Well, they were sending me anyway, and it wasn’t that hard to get them to chip in a little extra to take Sherlock along.”

      “I really didn’t think they’d want to toss any more money his way, given that it’s… Sherlock.”

      “I think it was me reminding them that if he came along, he _wouldn’t_ be in London for three days.  I seem to remember wistful smiles.”

      “And when they found out he wasn’t going with you?

      “Who said I told them?  Besides, he _is_ coming to Scotland, so it sorted itself out.  Spotted him yet?”

      “No, not yet, but apparently everyone’s taking the train today.  Wait… oh fuck me.  He’s wearing the blonde wig!”

      “Come on, John.  Not the one that makes him look like a Scandinavian school girl?”

      “That is precisely the one.  And dressed like he’s a college student.  Not really his best effort.  I’ll give him a 6 out of 10 for this one.”

      “I think he’d argue that he didn’t need the best disguise since you wouldn’t be looking for him in the first place.”

      “Yeah, but someone’s got to wonder why the tall blonde man’s skulking after us with murder in his eyes.  He could wind up in a cell before this is over.”

      “That _would_ spoil our plans.”

      “You got your ID, right?  In case you need to get him sprung for attempted murder by haphazard disguise?”

      “Right here, but let’s keep a good thought.  Actually, he doesn’t look as bad as half the people milling around, so maybe he should get a bonus point for that.   Ah, here we go, time to get going.  You should do something to really rile him up.”

      “Like what?”

      “Uh… oh!  Push my hair a little.  Like you’re fixing it.  That’ll send him right up the pole.”

      “Like this?”

      “Yeah, that’s the ticket.  He just kicked a lamp post.”

      “Hope he didn’t break a toe.  That’s the last thing I want to deal with… His Majesty with a throbbing foot.  You know, you’ve got very soft hair.”

      “Really?”

      “Yeah, I thought it’d be like porcupine spines, but, really, it’s actually… ok, time to board the train.”

      “Yeah, I think that’s smart.  You’re trying to make _him_ jealous, not make me punch you for getting fresh.”

      “True, punching me would not sell our cover.”

      “Try and remember that.”

__________

      “Now, that’s just embarrassing.  No!  Don’t turn around, you stupid medic.  Just look in the window; you can’t miss his reflection unless you’re blind.”

      “Ginger!  When did he even get a curly ginger wig?”

      “Not seen that one before, so he must have been saving it for something special.  You should be honored.”

      “I’d be honored if he’d just do something besides make my life miserable.”

      “Poor John and his bankrupt romance.”

      “Shut it, you bastard.  You try living with someone who’s always giving you the I-want-to-shag-you-senseless eyes and never does, even when you answer back with the well-what-are-you-waiting-for tongue swipe across the lips.  Our first dinner together, I thought I made myself pretty clear about things and he scuttled into his shell like a crab and hasn’t come out since.”

      “Except for his eyes.”

      “Exactly!  Just like those crabs with the eyes on stalks that keep staring at you, but you make a move towards them and they pull everything inside and put out a ‘Closed’ sign on the door.”

      “And he busts up your dates.”

      “Prick.  Sherlock Holmes is a massive prick.”

      “No, you hope Sherlock Holmes _has_ a massive prick.”

      “I’d prefer midsize, actually.  More versatile.  Easier to work with.”

      “Smart.  Very smart.  And efficient.”

      “Why are you grinning like that?  You look like you’re posing for some men’s magazine and Greg Lestrade is not the best name for the world’s next top model.”

      “He’s watching us and now… hope that wasn’t an expensive book he just ripped the cover off of.”

      “Sherlock’s going to explode at the hotel, isn’t he?”

      “We can only hope, for your sake.”

__________

      “Still ginger.  At least he didn’t put on _another_ disguise.  Three humiliating wigs in a day might be too much for nature to handle.  I’d hate to get back home and find out that a black hole had opened up under his bed.  I was hoping to have my way with him in that bed before it got sucked into another dimension.  You got our reservation information?”

      “Yes, dear.  You can get it out of my pocket if you think it’ll make our boy froth at the mouth.  My hands are full with the luggage anyway.”

      “Ok, but stand still.  I don’t want to grab anything that neither of us wants me want to grab.”

      “Jacket pocket, you prat.”

      “Oh, my mistake… there.  What’s he doing?”

      “Pulling leaves off of the fake tree he’s hiding behind.  Stand a little closer to me and… that was a small branch.  He’s stabbing his leg with it, too.  I think he has a masochistic streak.”

      “Hmmm…not something I’ve played with before, but I’m always open to new experiences.  Let’s get checked in and grab a bite.  I’m famished.”

      “Sure you don’t want to check out the room first?”

      “We’re trying to make him jealous, not have him die from a stroke.”

      “Sorry John, never been good at walking the mythical fine line between livid and dead.”

      “Yeah, me neither, so we can make dinner something to remember.”

      “As long as you buy me a drink first.”

      “One pint coming up.”

      “Make it two, I’m easy when I’m drunk.”

      “Something I really didn’t need to know.”

__________

      “The strangest part of all of this is that he’s _eating_.”

      “Too bad we can’t take a picture to put in your wedding album.  But since he’s got the blonde hair again, I’d worry about my camera collapsing in tears.”

      “You know, take this whole subterfuge out of the way and this is actually nice.  It’s been ages since I got out of the city and… I adore him, but a break now and then is a good thing.”

      “If you get your way, John, breaks are going to be harder than ever to get, you know.”

      “Yeah, but at least I’ll have a better negotiating position for a day off here and there.  ‘Sherlock, I’m going visit a mate for the day.  The devil you will, John!  No visit, no oral, Sherlock.  Have a nice time, John.’  I think we’ll find a happy balance.”

      “I think you’ll wind up beating each other senseless.  Or shagging each other senseless.  Not really sure which yet, but… hey, hold up a little of that fish.  No, on your fork, idiot.  Yeah, now push it my way.”

      “I have to eat off that fork, you know.”

      “I don’t have the Black Death, so come on… oh, how yummy.  And… brace yourself.  Here he comes.”

      “THIS WILL CEASE!”

      “John, why is this blonde woman accosting us during our nice dinner?”

      “If I am forced to march you outside, Lestrade, and teach you a lesson in manners, it is a lesson you shall surely learn and never forget!”

      “The girl’s threatening me, John!  She might hit me with her handbag in a minute!”

      “Sherlock, will you please be quiet!  Sit down right now and…”

John sometimes forgot how strong the detective actually was, but was quickly reminded when he was yanked to his feet and dragged from the restaurant towards, what he very much hoped, was Sherlock’s own rented room.  Sometimes, the classic clichéd schemes really were the best…

__________

Lestrade waited until Sherlock and John were out of sight before breaking out laughing and signaling the server to refill his wine glass.  Perfect… he had to admit he’d been skeptical when John thought up this caper, but it _was_ perfect.  Sherlock would refuse the invitation, John would accept and hijinks would commence.  The only question would be if John was actually going to attend this boring conference or keep himself occupied with more enjoyable pursuits.

      “Oh hey, thanks but, I’m drinking the cheap stuff in the carafe…”

      “I think we can graduate you to a more agreeable vintage, Detective Inspector.”

No one had a voice like that but… why was Mycroft Holmes folding his long, lean body into the chair John had just abandoned?

      “Mr. … Mr. Holmes?”

      “Mycroft, please.  I see no reason to stand on formality.  After all, this is a celebration, is it not?  My brother has finally come to his senses and that is a piteously rare occurrence.  I think I shall have it declared a national holiday of some form.  Call it Enlightenment Day or some such thing and encourage the citizens to dance and frolic to their heart’s content.”

      “Wait… what do you mean celebration?  I have no idea why Sherlock’s even here and…”

      “Such a loyal friend.  As if your motives and John’s were not glaringly obvious from the very beginning.  Well, to someone with the appropriate vision to see them.  Did you truly believe your superiors were that eager to part with much-needed monies to send Sherlock, of all people, to a professional conference?  Where he would most likely cause an international crisis it would take decades to properly sort out?”

      “You?”

      “As you say, me.  You are not the only one who has grown frustrated with Sherlock’s reluctance to act and John’s hesitation to simply take matters in hand.  Now, we are both rewarded, aren’t we?  They shall have their happily ever after, or as happy as they can be given that Sherlock is involved, and we are free from the long faces and heartbroken sighs.  And do try the wine; I believe you will find it very acceptable.”

Lestrade took a sip and… acceptable wasn’t the right word – orgasmic was more like it and from Mycroft’s little smile, Lestrade knew he’d broadcast that idea straight into the older Holmes’s mind.

      “It _is_ good.  I’m actually not the biggest wine drinker, usually only with dinner, but this is something I wouldn’t mind having in the evening with a good book in my hands.”

      “Which is very much how I prefer to enjoy it, myself.  And how fortunate that I have procured, in a nearby establishment, a charming room that is very well designed to make such an evening possible.”

      “Oh, that’s nice for you.  I’m probably going to call it an early evening, myself.  There’s a presentation I want to go to tomorrow that starts pretty early and…”

      “I think you will find you are mistaken.”

      “Ummm… no.  I’ve got the schedule right here…”

      “I would suspect that is the _original_ schedule.  I am afraid that your conference has been postponed until next week.  It was quite an unexpected thing to find that the electrical system was suspected of being substandard.  What a tragedy it would be if many of our finest law enforcement officials were to perish in an electrical fire.”

      “Which could never happen since the wiring’s completely fine.”

      “But one cannot be truly sure until a thorough inspection is performed.”

      “Great.  Why in the world would you do that?  Well, there goes my little holiday.  Back to London tomorrow and there’ll be no possibility they’ll let me come back again next week.”

      “A return will not be necessary as you are currently, though temporarily, reassigned to a small, shall we say, committee to discuss interagency cooperation.  It is a very important appointment, so I do hope you take it seriously.”

      “Wonderful, just bloody wonderful.  And who’s on this so-called committee?”

      “That would be you.  And me.”

<……………>

      “Are you alright, Gregory?”

      “You and me?”

      “Yes.”

      “And… any specific reason this committee’s been called up right now?”

Lestrade watched the most powerful and dangerous man in the western world take another sip of his wine and set it down gently before looking across the table with a very bright twinkle in his eye.

      “Because there are _other_ reasons I have grown frustrated.”

Maybe another day, maybe another time and Lestrade would have laughed at how crazy that sounded but it was the right day and the right time and just the right softness in Mycroft’s features that made something click into place with a very pleasing snap.

      “Would the first official meeting of this committee perhaps be in a charming room in a nearby establishment, where a fine bottle of wine is waiting?”

      “Oh, very good.  You are quite the cunning adversary.”

      “And how much wine will it take for you to consider me an ally, Mr. Holmes?”

      “How much wine will it take for you to call me Mycroft?”

      “We’ll just have to find out, I guess.  Sometimes I need a little persuading to wrap my head around a new idea.”

      “Then isn’t it fortunate that persuasion is one of my greatest talents.”

      “But not the only one, I hope.”

      “Perish the thought.  And I do plan to demonstrate to you each and every one of my talents.  Twice.”

      “That should do the trick.  But, if my brain’s not wrapped by then, well… third time’s a charm.”


End file.
